Brains of Lamb [Egyptian in NYC; Kabab Cafe]

For a brief overview on the restaurant, check out the Lamb Cheeks entry.

Brains. This was our quest. This was our White Castle in the never-before told story: Chris and Maryann go to eat Brains. This was the end of our months of planning. A reward for our time spent in the biomedical sciences.

The human brain has a neuron count of about 100 billion. What does this have to do with food? Well neurons are supported by another class of cells--glia--which are 10 to 50 times more numerous. A major subset (I think somewhere around 50%) of these glia are oligodendrocytes. These cells wrap the shafts of neurons with a fatty sheath of myelin, aiding transmission along the axon. The white that you see in a slice of brain (the white matter) is white because of these glia. That said, brains are composed of mostly fat. Which makes them delicious.

Oh and for those worried about it, diseases contracted through eating lamb brains are rare. Cow brains are another matter entirely.

Taste:



Looks a lot like a fried white fish. Taste-wise, think tofu, but slightly firmer. And very fatty, for the reasons I mentioned above. We spoke to Ali about how these were prepared. He basically said that they sliced up the brains, lightly breaded them, and fried/braised them. Simple enough I suppose. He serves them with a familiar set of unnameable spices and some peppers to balance out the textures.

Reflections:

Worth it. Definitely worth the trip over, just for the experience itself. The brains were quite good, and as I said, very reminiscent of tofu. I have to say though that after the third or fourth piece the fat really gets to you. Sort of like having too much mayonnaise on your sandwich--you just get tired of that fatty taste.

I'd do it again.

Sweetbreads [Egyptian in NYC; Kabab Cafe]

For a brief overview on the restaurant, check out the Lamb Cheeks entry.

Sweetbreads. In the Hannibal story, Red Dragon, Lecter is discovered because he has sweetbreads written in an anatomy book. As wiki tells me, sweetbreads refer to two organs of the body, the pancreas and the thymus gland. There is a bit of debate whether pancreas can be considered a sweetbread. Thymus is undoubtedly so.

Taste:

Not really like the name implies. Me being a naive little knucklehead, expected something sweet and starchy. The meat in sweetbreads is consistent, unlike something like stomach, whose fatty lining very clearly has two sets of textures. There is an element of sweetness in the meat, but it is quite subtle--something that resided more as an afterthought than an initial flavor. Of the dishes we had, this was the most delicate. That is to say, it didn't bowl you over with aromas, but won you over slowly, quietly, like slipping into a warm bath... (bonus points for whoever names that reference)

Reflections:

It's unfortunate that I can't describe sweetbreads better. When I was there, they were my friend's favorite. They're up there with Lamb Cheeks. I would try them again, in any kind of preparation. They really are a unique meat, and not in that politely unique kind of way--I mean legitimately unique, legitimately special and good.

Lamb Cheeks [Egyptian in NYC; Kabab Cafe]

This is the first in an array of dishes I had at Kabab Cafe, a small little restaurant in Astoria. It's run by a dynamic fellow who engages you in conversation as he lists the days specials. I like the place. It isn't like any dining experience I've had--no menus, no whiny teenage waiters or snobby foodies grimacing at your poor choice in edibles. Instead, you find yourself in a conversation circling around what you enjoy and what Ali (the chef) has to offer. And as the conversation progresses, food arrives as if to punctuate the end of each exchange. The upside? A fluid, natural dining experience. The downside: you can and probably will talk yourself into spending more than you want to.

I'm told tradition dictates that you serve the one cheek to the lady of the table and another to the guest of honor. Apparently, the cheek is the tenderest cut of most animals--fatty, but with enough muscle to make it something more than delicious mush.

Taste:

It's hard to tell what exactly went into this. Ali brought the mixture over in a skillet, cracking an egg over everything and mixing. He mixed it further on a plate covered in spices whose names I don't remember. And then he invited us to try it on the provided pita.

I salivate as I type this. To relate this at all with some form of ground beef is a disservice, but I have no other way of conveying the taste and the texture. Imagine then ground beef, but the most decadent ground beef you've ever had. And then imagine that distinct aroma of lamb. Then, instead of that crumbly texture innate in anything ground, unite that texture with a fatty film, perhaps eggy in nature.

I won't even try to describe the spices. That explosion of flavor is indescribable. I have nothing at all to relate it to. It also doesn't help that I am not at all familiar with middle eastern cuisine and am a shitty cook.

All I can really say is, "Heavily spiced, delectably smooth texture."

Reflections:

I think of all of the dishes I had at Kabab Cafe, this was one of the best, perhaps because it was the most familiar. The pairing with the pita was amazing. And I, being new to middle eastern cuisine, found the novel spicing to be a real treasure.

Shake Shack [New York]

Appropriate that I follow up that In-n-Out entry with its biggest contender: the Shack Shack Shackburger. The place is a chain of sorts: 3 locations in the Big Apple. I visited the Upper West Side location, a few blocks shy of the 72nd street 1 2 3.

Now I'll be frank: this place isn't as good as In-n-Out. It's close. Very close. But it's a bit more expensive, and the taste just isn't quite up to par. Then again, with burgers like these:


I can understand why your average NYCer vouches for the Shack so vehemently. The shakes by the way, are also pretty damn good.

Taste:

I had the Double Stack, a happy combination of juicy beef patty, American cheese, lettuce, tomato, special "Shack Sauce," and fried portabello stuffed with muenster and cheddar cheese. It's a particularly thick burger, very full-flavored, lots of taste, dripping in burger-juice, mostly savory in nature. What puts this monstrosity a step above the rest is how they treat their mushrooms. Cheese stuffed fried portabello. Absolute genius. Never has there been a better match between mushroom and...uhh...anything? In the end, it's the mushroom I ended up remembering more than the burger.

They market the shake as 'custards.' Deeper in the description you find that they're combinations of soft serve and ice cream. A great combo. I tried the caramel milkshake--a perfect blend of caramel and light vanilla blended into a smooth, creamy drink somewhere between feathery and medium in thickness. Shake Shack does a good job of avoiding the two major flaws in most milkshakes: artificial flavoring and thickness.

Reflections:

A good experience. A filling burger. Slightly pricey (8.50 for the double stack, 5.25 for the shake), but a good time nonetheless. I mean, if you had a choice, In-n-Out all the way, but seeing as the two are a continent apart...this will suffice.

In-n-Out Burger [California]

Oh hail king of burgers. I bow before your might, the glory of your patties, the joy of your special sauce, the freshness of your greens, the vivid shine of your reds, and the toasty bite of your perfect, beautiful buns.

Straight from Socal we have the In-n-out burger. For those of you unfortunate cretins who don't know what In-n-Out is (blasphemer!), it's the fast food joint that makes all other fast food joints look like hapless pieces of shit wrapped in week-old endometrial fluid from a coat-hangered fetus chillin in a pool of NYC subway sewage.

Good luck getting that image out of your head.

In-n-Out is an exclusive chain that limits itself to the West Coast. They serve burgers, fries, milkshakes, and soft drinks in all manner of fashion. They feature a "secret menu" that further elaborates on the regular offerings--triple, quadruple, quintuple patties, "animal" fries, "animal" burgers, extra this, or extra that. It's one hell of a joint.

Did I mention that it's delicious?

Taste:

The best burger I have had (followed by the Royal Red Robin at Red Robin. Can't really go wrong with egg on top of hamburger). Juicy, tasty, fresh, awesome texture...I run out of adjectives, so I'll just describe the ingredients for you.

The key to In-n-Out's success (in my opinion) lies with those fresh ingredients. Their lettuce has a crisp crunch to it. Their tomatoes are remarkably flavorful--much moreso than the crap you get at McD's. Of course, that's not to play down how well they can handle their patties--juicy, dripping, an absolutely delicious mess. In-n-Out is also one of the few burger joints that pays careful attention to toasting their buns. This I think, adds a great deal to their texture, and the overall experience. Not only do you not get caught up in a soggy bun, but there's that delectable crunch that you get with every bite.

The sauce they use is an orange thing, perhaps a combination of mayonnaise, ketchup, and thousand island dressing. It's a very nice, subtle solution that seals all the ingredients together quite pleasurably.

And here's a picture of animal fries:

So they put their special sauce on some fries (same sauce as their hamburgers), cheese, and lots of grilled, diced onions. Your girlfriend may not kiss you after eating this, but your mouth will love you forever. Their fries are made fresh (you can see some poor schmuck in the back cutting up potatoes), and the taste shows it. Each fry is crisp. Not a limp one; none overdone with oil either. I never thought there were such things as "good" fries till In-n-Out before.

Reflections:

Would do again. Many times. This alone is reason to go to California, and I know many people who will support me in saying that. An awesome, awesome experience. Here's a little tidbit too:

Every drink cup at In-n-Out gets a Bible verse! Fascinating huh. Them Christians! They be getting into our foods!

Pig Kidney [Taiwan]

What's up with these countries and the shitholes of the body? Liver, intestine, kidney…the list goes on. The most common explanation I've heard (and I tend to agree) is that these cultures have only recently been able to not waste valuable protein sources like vital organs. Western cultures have an abundance of food not found in other countries, and given the "acquired taste" of some of these organs, they just lost their popularity as simpler meats grew more accessible.

Whatev. On to taste.

Taste:

Kidney, like liver, has a very, very distinct aroma and taste. It might be a tad bitter (maybe a figment of my imagination). It's funny how our expectations of certain things can alter how we experience them.

In any case, I won't try to describe the aroma. Like liver, it is best called "unique" and "pungent." And also like liver, it is also very much an acquired taste.

The texture of kidney is a very interesting thing. You'll notice that there is a crosshatched cut pattern on the meat. Apparently, kidney is so easy to overcook into inedible toughness that cooks score the meat so that it cooks easier. The result is a meat that has a small, soft "snap" to it when bitten--there is relatively little give in the meat as you bite into it before a piece breaks off. It's an interesting texture, and altogether not at all unpleasant.

Reflections:

Not terrible, but not my cup of tea. I've had kidney on several occasions, and have never really gone to take that second piece from the lazy susan. The meat was prepared well as far as I can tell, but it's just too much of an acquired taste. Rather, it's too much of a foreign taste for my American taste buds. Not a bad experience though...

Rice Ball Covered in Peanut Powder [Taiwan]

Doesn't get much more straightforward than this. Congealed rice covered in ground peanuts.

Taste:

Imagine it and you've pretty much got it. Chewy, tasteless rice and yummy, sweet peanut powder.

Reflections:

Great dessert. Nice chew.