Midtown Chocolate Tour [NYC]

Abbreviated Entry!

Just a note: that heart shaped one is supposed to be one of Oprah's favorite things. I think.

Doesn't really belong in the category "dessert," but I'd rather not have a whole category for chocolates...

Barbounia [Mediterranean in NYC]

Abbreviated Entry!

Swordfish Kebab, Salmon, Beef (focus on that delicious bone marrow)

Lamb Testicles and Heart [Egyptian in NYC; Kabab Cafe]

Abbreviated entry!

Heart followed by testicles.

Taste:

Heart: somewhat lean. Testicles: slightly fatty, strange and slight irony aftertaste. Not bad, but wouldn't go out of my way to have more.

Brains of Lamb [Egyptian in NYC; Kabab Cafe]

For a brief overview on the restaurant, check out the Lamb Cheeks entry.

Brains. This was our quest. This was our White Castle in the never-before told story: Chris and Maryann go to eat Brains. This was the end of our months of planning. A reward for our time spent in the biomedical sciences.

The human brain has a neuron count of about 100 billion. What does this have to do with food? Well neurons are supported by another class of cells--glia--which are 10 to 50 times more numerous. A major subset (I think somewhere around 50%) of these glia are oligodendrocytes. These cells wrap the shafts of neurons with a fatty sheath of myelin, aiding transmission along the axon. The white that you see in a slice of brain (the white matter) is white because of these glia. That said, brains are composed of mostly fat. Which makes them delicious.

Oh and for those worried about it, diseases contracted through eating lamb brains are rare. Cow brains are another matter entirely.

Taste:



Looks a lot like a fried white fish. Taste-wise, think tofu, but slightly firmer. And very fatty, for the reasons I mentioned above. We spoke to Ali about how these were prepared. He basically said that they sliced up the brains, lightly breaded them, and fried/braised them. Simple enough I suppose. He serves them with a familiar set of unnameable spices and some peppers to balance out the textures.

Reflections:

Worth it. Definitely worth the trip over, just for the experience itself. The brains were quite good, and as I said, very reminiscent of tofu. I have to say though that after the third or fourth piece the fat really gets to you. Sort of like having too much mayonnaise on your sandwich--you just get tired of that fatty taste.

I'd do it again.

Sweetbreads [Egyptian in NYC; Kabab Cafe]

For a brief overview on the restaurant, check out the Lamb Cheeks entry.

Sweetbreads. In the Hannibal story, Red Dragon, Lecter is discovered because he has sweetbreads written in an anatomy book. As wiki tells me, sweetbreads refer to two organs of the body, the pancreas and the thymus gland. There is a bit of debate whether pancreas can be considered a sweetbread. Thymus is undoubtedly so.

Taste:

Not really like the name implies. Me being a naive little knucklehead, expected something sweet and starchy. The meat in sweetbreads is consistent, unlike something like stomach, whose fatty lining very clearly has two sets of textures. There is an element of sweetness in the meat, but it is quite subtle--something that resided more as an afterthought than an initial flavor. Of the dishes we had, this was the most delicate. That is to say, it didn't bowl you over with aromas, but won you over slowly, quietly, like slipping into a warm bath... (bonus points for whoever names that reference)

Reflections:

It's unfortunate that I can't describe sweetbreads better. When I was there, they were my friend's favorite. They're up there with Lamb Cheeks. I would try them again, in any kind of preparation. They really are a unique meat, and not in that politely unique kind of way--I mean legitimately unique, legitimately special and good.

Lamb Cheeks [Egyptian in NYC; Kabab Cafe]

This is the first in an array of dishes I had at Kabab Cafe, a small little restaurant in Astoria. It's run by a dynamic fellow who engages you in conversation as he lists the days specials. I like the place. It isn't like any dining experience I've had--no menus, no whiny teenage waiters or snobby foodies grimacing at your poor choice in edibles. Instead, you find yourself in a conversation circling around what you enjoy and what Ali (the chef) has to offer. And as the conversation progresses, food arrives as if to punctuate the end of each exchange. The upside? A fluid, natural dining experience. The downside: you can and probably will talk yourself into spending more than you want to.

I'm told tradition dictates that you serve the one cheek to the lady of the table and another to the guest of honor. Apparently, the cheek is the tenderest cut of most animals--fatty, but with enough muscle to make it something more than delicious mush.

Taste:

It's hard to tell what exactly went into this. Ali brought the mixture over in a skillet, cracking an egg over everything and mixing. He mixed it further on a plate covered in spices whose names I don't remember. And then he invited us to try it on the provided pita.

I salivate as I type this. To relate this at all with some form of ground beef is a disservice, but I have no other way of conveying the taste and the texture. Imagine then ground beef, but the most decadent ground beef you've ever had. And then imagine that distinct aroma of lamb. Then, instead of that crumbly texture innate in anything ground, unite that texture with a fatty film, perhaps eggy in nature.

I won't even try to describe the spices. That explosion of flavor is indescribable. I have nothing at all to relate it to. It also doesn't help that I am not at all familiar with middle eastern cuisine and am a shitty cook.

All I can really say is, "Heavily spiced, delectably smooth texture."

Reflections:

I think of all of the dishes I had at Kabab Cafe, this was one of the best, perhaps because it was the most familiar. The pairing with the pita was amazing. And I, being new to middle eastern cuisine, found the novel spicing to be a real treasure.

Shake Shack [New York]

Appropriate that I follow up that In-n-Out entry with its biggest contender: the Shack Shack Shackburger. The place is a chain of sorts: 3 locations in the Big Apple. I visited the Upper West Side location, a few blocks shy of the 72nd street 1 2 3.

Now I'll be frank: this place isn't as good as In-n-Out. It's close. Very close. But it's a bit more expensive, and the taste just isn't quite up to par. Then again, with burgers like these:


I can understand why your average NYCer vouches for the Shack so vehemently. The shakes by the way, are also pretty damn good.

Taste:

I had the Double Stack, a happy combination of juicy beef patty, American cheese, lettuce, tomato, special "Shack Sauce," and fried portabello stuffed with muenster and cheddar cheese. It's a particularly thick burger, very full-flavored, lots of taste, dripping in burger-juice, mostly savory in nature. What puts this monstrosity a step above the rest is how they treat their mushrooms. Cheese stuffed fried portabello. Absolute genius. Never has there been a better match between mushroom and...uhh...anything? In the end, it's the mushroom I ended up remembering more than the burger.

They market the shake as 'custards.' Deeper in the description you find that they're combinations of soft serve and ice cream. A great combo. I tried the caramel milkshake--a perfect blend of caramel and light vanilla blended into a smooth, creamy drink somewhere between feathery and medium in thickness. Shake Shack does a good job of avoiding the two major flaws in most milkshakes: artificial flavoring and thickness.

Reflections:

A good experience. A filling burger. Slightly pricey (8.50 for the double stack, 5.25 for the shake), but a good time nonetheless. I mean, if you had a choice, In-n-Out all the way, but seeing as the two are a continent apart...this will suffice.

In-n-Out Burger [California]

Oh hail king of burgers. I bow before your might, the glory of your patties, the joy of your special sauce, the freshness of your greens, the vivid shine of your reds, and the toasty bite of your perfect, beautiful buns.

Straight from Socal we have the In-n-out burger. For those of you unfortunate cretins who don't know what In-n-Out is (blasphemer!), it's the fast food joint that makes all other fast food joints look like hapless pieces of shit wrapped in week-old endometrial fluid from a coat-hangered fetus chillin in a pool of NYC subway sewage.

Good luck getting that image out of your head.

In-n-Out is an exclusive chain that limits itself to the West Coast. They serve burgers, fries, milkshakes, and soft drinks in all manner of fashion. They feature a "secret menu" that further elaborates on the regular offerings--triple, quadruple, quintuple patties, "animal" fries, "animal" burgers, extra this, or extra that. It's one hell of a joint.

Did I mention that it's delicious?

Taste:

The best burger I have had (followed by the Royal Red Robin at Red Robin. Can't really go wrong with egg on top of hamburger). Juicy, tasty, fresh, awesome texture...I run out of adjectives, so I'll just describe the ingredients for you.

The key to In-n-Out's success (in my opinion) lies with those fresh ingredients. Their lettuce has a crisp crunch to it. Their tomatoes are remarkably flavorful--much moreso than the crap you get at McD's. Of course, that's not to play down how well they can handle their patties--juicy, dripping, an absolutely delicious mess. In-n-Out is also one of the few burger joints that pays careful attention to toasting their buns. This I think, adds a great deal to their texture, and the overall experience. Not only do you not get caught up in a soggy bun, but there's that delectable crunch that you get with every bite.

The sauce they use is an orange thing, perhaps a combination of mayonnaise, ketchup, and thousand island dressing. It's a very nice, subtle solution that seals all the ingredients together quite pleasurably.

And here's a picture of animal fries:

So they put their special sauce on some fries (same sauce as their hamburgers), cheese, and lots of grilled, diced onions. Your girlfriend may not kiss you after eating this, but your mouth will love you forever. Their fries are made fresh (you can see some poor schmuck in the back cutting up potatoes), and the taste shows it. Each fry is crisp. Not a limp one; none overdone with oil either. I never thought there were such things as "good" fries till In-n-Out before.

Reflections:

Would do again. Many times. This alone is reason to go to California, and I know many people who will support me in saying that. An awesome, awesome experience. Here's a little tidbit too:

Every drink cup at In-n-Out gets a Bible verse! Fascinating huh. Them Christians! They be getting into our foods!

Pig Kidney [Taiwan]

What's up with these countries and the shitholes of the body? Liver, intestine, kidney…the list goes on. The most common explanation I've heard (and I tend to agree) is that these cultures have only recently been able to not waste valuable protein sources like vital organs. Western cultures have an abundance of food not found in other countries, and given the "acquired taste" of some of these organs, they just lost their popularity as simpler meats grew more accessible.

Whatev. On to taste.

Taste:

Kidney, like liver, has a very, very distinct aroma and taste. It might be a tad bitter (maybe a figment of my imagination). It's funny how our expectations of certain things can alter how we experience them.

In any case, I won't try to describe the aroma. Like liver, it is best called "unique" and "pungent." And also like liver, it is also very much an acquired taste.

The texture of kidney is a very interesting thing. You'll notice that there is a crosshatched cut pattern on the meat. Apparently, kidney is so easy to overcook into inedible toughness that cooks score the meat so that it cooks easier. The result is a meat that has a small, soft "snap" to it when bitten--there is relatively little give in the meat as you bite into it before a piece breaks off. It's an interesting texture, and altogether not at all unpleasant.

Reflections:

Not terrible, but not my cup of tea. I've had kidney on several occasions, and have never really gone to take that second piece from the lazy susan. The meat was prepared well as far as I can tell, but it's just too much of an acquired taste. Rather, it's too much of a foreign taste for my American taste buds. Not a bad experience though...

Rice Ball Covered in Peanut Powder [Taiwan]

Doesn't get much more straightforward than this. Congealed rice covered in ground peanuts.

Taste:

Imagine it and you've pretty much got it. Chewy, tasteless rice and yummy, sweet peanut powder.

Reflections:

Great dessert. Nice chew.

Razor Clams [Taiwan]

I'm only writing this one down because I saw it on food network and food network is awesome. They really are shaped like that, though the mussel has popped off its shell so it no longer resembles what it is in the wild (unlike "normal" clams, who tend to stick in their shells).

Taste:

The taste is virtually identical to that of your normal clam. The difference is in texture: where clams have different textures depending on what area you're working on (ranging from tough to tender to mushy guts), razor clams are consistently tender throughout. Or rather, they are consistently meaty throughout, lacking that gutty taste that clams have.

Reflections:

Clams perfected. No other way to put it. None of the downfalls of your average clam. No weird guts; no awkward tastes. Consistent and pleasant throughout. Delicioussss..

Whole Squid [Taiwan]

Emphasis on the "whole." Everyone has had calamari before, but this is the first time I've ever had the whole squid—gooey guts, head, and all. What most people eat (calamari rings) comes from the area between the eyes and the tail fin. Here, the restaurant gave us the whole deal. Times six.

Taste:

Kinda like squid. I started eating from the back—the tail fin end. The first bite was nothing extravagant, and tasted exactly like the rings I've had back home. One exception: an extra long piece of cartilage that slipped out with that bite, spanning the entirety of its main body. Ah yes. Mollusks and their cartilage. So I extracted that messy bit from my teeth and proceeded to take a second bite. This time, I tasted more than calamari. Bitterness. A slight mushiness. Those would be guts. All those things that let a squid keep on swimming. I was able to finish off the rest of it—head and tentacles—in the third bite. More bitter mushiness. More guts. Slightly awkward chewing of tentacles. Stuff stuck in teeth. But wait! That's not all! Two hard objects: circular, black things most assuredly unchewable. Corneas? I spit them out. Meh.

Reflections:

So now I know why squid is prepared in rings. The guts just aren't worth it. There's no real squiddiness to them that can't be tasted through the meat—just bitterness. All in all, whole squid was a disappointment. There's no reason to have the whole squid if you're not a fan of squid guts, and I can't imagine anyone who is.

Pig Liver [Taiwan]

Liver! Yay! If they ever run out of reasons to justify evolution, they can always fall back on the taste of related organs. Common ancestry by taste! Okay that was a stretch; I apologize to the scientists out there. Seriously though, there are remarkable similarities between the Chicken Liver Yakitori I had in Japan and the liver I'm talking about here. If you haven't read that entry, you should. I'll be referencing it for taste…

Taste:

So I've used the ambiguous "sweet soy sauce" line way too many times in describing Asian cuisine, but as I am lacking in culinary expertise, I'm going to have to use it again. Sweet soy sauce is what you taste as the piece enters your mouth. My tongue thought it was tasting a thinly sliced and fried beef jig at first. But then I bit down, and the texture just didn't fit—first, the meat was crazy tender. Then it started melting in my mouth with that hard-boiled-egg feel reminiscent of Chicken Liver. In fact, the texture it was exactly like the chicken liver once my teeth got past the outside of the piece. The only difference in that comparison was the aroma—Chicken Liver Yakitori was much stronger than this Pig Liver dish. However, I'm not sure if that's a result of the cooking style or the nature of the animal.

Reflections:

Surprisingly good. I really like the texture of liver—it's the aroma that sets me off. This type of Pig Liver (preparation?) takes out that aroma, and leaves you with a delicious sauce and a nice texture. Cool stuff.

/sεn/ /hi/ /mi/ /fən/ (Eel and Rice Noodle) [Taiwan]

Move aside vacuum packed imported eel. The real shit is here. So if you've had eel, you've probably had the Japanese version—somewhat doused in teriyaki, sealed up in some plastic jig, and unsealed upon serving on top of rice (sushi or a don-type meal). The Taiwanese version is slightly different—steamed instead of panned (not quite sure on this, but the textures suggest so). Anyway, the tastes are much more subtle in this version, for better or for worse.

Taste:

Very simple. /mi/ /fən/ is a thin rice-based noodle that is virtually tasteless (they make Italian spaghetti noodles a party in the mouth in comparison). Eel, in comparison to fish, is also quite tasteless. Aroma-less and taste-less, this dish would be horrendously bland if not for the sweet soy-based sauce that they douse everything in. It's a weaker form of the vacuum packed, sushi version if you're looking for a reference.

Texture is the key that separates the eel from the rest of its water-dwelling friends. Somewhere between fish and chicken in toughness, the eel also has a unique, meaty crunch given by its thin, edible endoskeleton. Actually, this texture matches the /mi/ /fən/ quite well.

Reflections:

Another yum dish. I think I've been eating too much of the Japanese version though—this sauce lacked potency. Being so used to the Japanese unagi made this eel bland in comparison. Ah well.

Mos Burger [Taiwan]

Three words: rice hamburger buns. This is a Japanese chain that I happened upon in Taiwan. I guess the best way to describe it is to call it the lovechild between American backyard barbecues and traditional Asian flavors. Unfortunately, I did not get to try their flagship burger—the octopus patty—but I did try several others (pictures below). Oh and their mascot is a big octopus. Pretty damn cute.


Taste:

An Asian burger. The burger I had was a combination of pork, seaweed, and strange Asian vegetables. Strange, unnamable, innumerable Asian vegetables. Bun aside, the burger tasted mostly of pork, and the aroma of seaweed. Those Asian vegetables had a light taste—just a bit of salt to add to the pork, and gave the burger a crunch with each bite.

So about that rice bun…remarkably straightforward taste—rice, but chewier. You can still feel each granule as the bun falls to pieces in your mouth, but the texture is definitely a bit firmer than the rice you eat out of the bowl. I think it’s a great balance between great rice and rice that can maintain the shape of a bun.

My sister tells me that the seafood patty tastes pretty much as advertised—like seafood and shrimp. I only had a bite, so my judgment is a bit lacking.

Reflections:

The burger I had was a little disappointing. The flavors just didn’t match to me. I preferred my sisters—hers was much simpler actually: just seafood, no strange vegetables to mix things up. Mos Burger is a thing to try again I think. Definitely that octopus burger…

Here are some of their other burgers:

/әa/ /tzεn/ (Oysters Fried) [Taiwan]

That’s Taiwanese in the phonetics up there. This here is supposed to be one of the classic Taiwanese dishes. Several ingredients here: eggs, starch, oysters (hidden in the egg), and a mysterious sweet orange sauce, probably of some relation to ketchup. Everything is fried together in one of those giant woks, sauce added after it’s all cooked to perfection. Think of it as an omelet. But with oysters. And gooey starch.

Taste:

Quite good. This Taiwanese original has a one-of-a-kind kind of taste, and when you think about it, the combination of flavors is absolutely insane. My first bite was filled with a sweet, savory taste with a texture similar to scrambled eggs—similar but not identical. The sheer amount of starch sets the texture off from complete similarity. As one would expect, the aroma is that of oysters. Of course, if you happen to bite into an oyster, the taste will be of oysters as well.

Reflections:

It’s kind of messy to be honest. Not something you want to eat standing up—definitely a plate and spoon affair. Still, it’s a delicious experience. Cheap one too, for less than 3 dollars a plate.

Pig's Blood Tofu [Taiwan]

Ah pig’s blood. We meet again. I remember fondly the last time I experienced you…around ten years ago, when a family friend thought I would enjoy a Pig’s Blood Cake (gelatinized pig’s blood). I did not enjoy it. I did not enjoy it at all. In fact I almost puked.

So I face you again, friend pig’s blood, though you are less potent this time around. My grandparents tell me that this dish is made using pig’s blood mixed into tofu mix. The result is what you see here.

Taste:

Nowhere near as unpleasant as I thought it was going to be. The best way to describe this dish? Awkward tasting tofu. Tofu with a strange aftertaste. I think it might be described as a very slight metallic aftertaste. Ultimately, it tastes overwhelmingly of tofu, and had I not known the name of the dish, I probably wouldn’t have noticed that hint of whatever.

Reflections:

Just goes to say: some things are worth another try. While this wasn’t unpleasant, it wasn’t anything special either. That hint of whatever that makes the difference between Pig’s Blood Tofu and just Tofu just isn’t that noticeable. I think I’ll just have to try Pig’s Blood again in some other, more pungent form.